


Counterfeit Inamoratos

by Nnoitra



Category: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, I'll tag as characters appear, M/M, and well, basically there is this really annoying girl, so scorpius and albus pretend to date to get her off his back, who albus is sick of, you know how it goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9350081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nnoitra/pseuds/Nnoitra
Summary: If pretending to date Scorpius will get this girl to stop her staring, then that's just how it's going to be; and honestly, they're looking forward to this.





	1. Chapter 1- The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's short but bare with me, please. I just have so many feelings and so little time.

At the third week of the start of term is when Albus noticed it, the fifth grade Ravenclaw girl from their Herbology classes, always staring at him. At least, he thinks she's staring at him when she is looking in their direction. Either it's him or Scorpius; he's not entirely sure due to them always being beside each other, but he made eye contact with her three times so he suspects it's him. He doesn't even know her name and even if he does he's surely forgotten. He tries racking his brain for her name but to no avail. She wasn't bad in looks for the average human, but piqued no interest to him. 

 

"Hey, Scorpius? What's her name?" Albus asks his friend, nudging his shoulder and discreetly pointing a finger towards the girl sitting behind him, on the Ravenclaw table. They were eating lunch in the great hall.

 

"Hm? Her? Not sure, she's usually very quiet in class. I think we share a Herbology class together. Why? Do you _fancy_ her?" Scorpius laughs. 

 

"What? I don't. It just I think she might be following me around? Not sure, though. Maybe it's just in class or during lunch or something. Staring, I mean. She's been staring at me a lot. I'm starting to wonder if she's following me too." Albus explains, glancing behind himself. "She's doing it again!" 

 

"Maybe she's trying to figure out how to ask you for your dad's autograph?" Scorpius suggests. 

 

"Doubt it." He sighs, "She'd have asked for it years ago if that was the case." 

 

"No, she still might want it. I mean this is the first year we've shared any class with her in it, so maybe she was waiting for the right time?" Scorpius says, shrugging. 

 

"That's stupid. She could have asked Lily or James at any time." Albus says, scooping a spoon of mashed potatoes into his mouth. 

 

"Maybe she has a crush on you or something?" Scorpius says, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice. 

 

"I hope not." Albus mutters with his mouth full of food. 

 

"You hope not?" Scorpius asks. 

 

Albus shrugs, "I don't know, I guess  just don't want some girl pining after me." 

 

Scorpius pauses for a moment to think, "Would you have preferred if it were a guy?" 

 

"I don't know." Albus mutters, "Maybe it's just that I don't want someone staring at me all the time. It's becoming distracting." 

 

"Well, we could try and ask her to stop." Scorpius suggests. 

 

"Yeah, because _that's_ going to go down well! 'Hey, girl who's name I can't remember, can you stop staring at me all the time? It is creepy and distracting'. Not happening." Albus replies. 

 

"I meant that maybe there's something we could do to try and make her stop? I didn't say we had to directly confront her." Scorpius explains. 

 

"So a passive-aggressive non confrontational approach? How are we going to do that?" Albus says, thinking quickly, "Oh, hold on I have an idea. I don't know if you'd agree to it though."

 

"Ooh? What is it? Colour me intrigued." Scorpius says, resting his chin in his hand. 

 

"Nothing, it's stupid." Albus says, waving his hand dismissively. 

 

"Well now I _really_ want to know." Scorpius says, grinning. 

 

"Ugh, can we not discuss it here? Someone might start listening in or something." Albus says, glancing around him. 

 

"Let's go then!" Scorpius says, grabbing Albus by the wrist and dragging him out of the great hall and down towards the Slytherin common room. 

 

They ran in through the door and up to their dorm rooms, slamming the door behind them and crawling onto Scorpius's bed. Albus still had a bowl of mashed potatoes in his hand and was thanking every God out there that he didn't drop it when they were running. He felt the house elves in the kitchens wouldn't appreciate having to clean potato up off the floor all over the castle. 

 

"So... what is your plan?" Scorpius asks enthusiastically. 

 

"It's stupid though." Albus says, rubbing the back of his head. 

 

"Just tell me." Scorpius says in a deadpan voice.

 

"OK, Ok, fine!" Albus huffs, "I was thinking that maybe I could get some of the Love Potions that uncle Ron has, put them in a different vial and then ask someone to slip it in her drink and her make her fall in love with someone else." 

 

Scorpius pauses for a moment, "You're right it's stupid." 

 

"I told you. I was only thinking it because she was staring at me _really intensely_ this time and it unnerved me!" Albus explains, "It was just the first thought that came to my head."

 

"How about we ask her to stop staring at you?" Scorpius says. 

 

"No! I said that's too embarrassing." Albus says. 

 

"So we can mess around with a time turner, ultimately destroying this world pretty much, you can have a crush on _Voldemort's daughter_ , but you cant ask one girl to stop staring?" Scorpius laughs, "Fine, have it your way. Now we have to think of another way to get her to stop." 

 

"When you say it like that it _I_ sound stupid." Albus mumbles. 

 

"You're not stupid. You just have stupid ideas, sometimes." Scorpius says. 

 

"Well what other ideas do we have?" Albus asks. 

 

"I _have_ one in mind but you wont agree to it." Scorpius says, unsure. 

 

"What? Tell me what it is before you go saying I wont agree." Albus replies.  

 

"Well, I was thinking, what if we pretend that we're... you know." Scorpius says, shrugging and looking away. 

 

"Dating?" Albus finishes, "Well, it might work but don't you have a crush on Rose? Besides, how would we go about trying to pretend date?" 

 

"I mean, I like Rose, sure, but my best friend comes before my crush and if that means pretending to date you then that's fine by me." Scorpius says, a shy grin on his face. "Besides, I take it you do not object to my plan?" 

 

Albus smiles, "You're such a good friend. Now, let's start this plan right now. How do we get her to think we're dating?"

 

"We have to make her think that we are in a legitimate relationship, so the most likely thing to work would be to do couple-stuff whenever she's nearby and watching us. But we have to drop small hints here and there at first! If we just started randomly snogging in public she would be really confused and maybe think it is a prank or something." Scorpius explains. 

 

"Oh I get it, but what about other people? If we do this then surely others will notice." Albus asks. 

 

"Well, they'll obviously come up to us and ask us if we're going out, and then we'll explain to situation to them and they'll hopefully understand." Scorpius replies. 

 

"What if someone tells her our plan though?" Albus says. 

 

"Oh. Right, maybe we shouldn't explain to people what we're doing. Just let them go with the flow." Scorpius shrugs, "Whatever, if we keep pretending then she'll stop staring and we can slowly go back to how we normally are around each other." 

 

"Yeah, doesn't sound too bad." Albus grins, "Let's do this." 

 

Scorpius and Albus shake hands with a grin and start chatting about other things, like Scorpius's new favourite book, how Albus's studying is going and who both of their least favourite students in the castle are. The bowl of mashed potatoes laying cold and forgotten on the bed-sheets of Scorpius's bed. 


	2. She's Buying It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their plan seems to be working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it wasn't as long as I'd hoped but I am a very busy person U.U

The next morning, Scorpius was woken by an enthusiastic Albus shaking him out of his slumber. "Ugh, what?" He mumbles, half asleep.

 

"Time to start our plan! I'm starving and she's probably in the hall already." Albus whines. 

 

"At least let me get dressed first, Albus." Scorpius says, rubbing his face in a feeble attempt to rid himself of tiredness. 

 

"Oh, right, of course!" Albus says, standing aside and allowing a very tired Scorpius to drag himself out of bed. 

 

Five minutes later they were finally ready to go down to the great hall and grab some breakfast. As Albus had predicted, that girl was there and she turned to look at them the second they had entered the hall. Albus and Scorpius walked over to their usual seats, trying to stay as close as possible to make it look like personal space wasn't a thing that existed to them. Albus noticed the girl paying close attention to them.  _Good_ , he thinks,  _she's buying it!_  

 

"It's working! She's noticing!" Albus says, grinning. 

 

"You can't tell for sure! All we did was walk into the hall closer than normal." Scorpius says, piling some bacon onto his plate. 

 

"Well then we need to do more to convince her." Albus says, "Oh, I have an idea. Let me feed you." 

 

"Feed me? Only once or twice, too much and she will think something's up." Scorpius replies. 

 

Albus nods, grabbing a spoon from Scorpius's plate and scooped some peas up, then lifted the spoon to Scorpius who ate peas with a smile. A few students around them stared but didn't say anything. Both of them could see out of the corner of their eyes the girl, who's eyes had widened in shock and she ducked her head and appeared to be fiddling with something in her lap. She was probably nervous over her chance with Albus being diminished. Albus allowed a smirk, as did Scorpius. They did it once more and then focused on their own food, silently rejoicing over her reaction. 

 

"She's definitely buying it, did you _see_ her reaction?" Scorpius laughs, "Priceless." 

 

Albus laughed, "Yeah. If we keep this up she'll be off our back for good." 

 

They finished off their breakfast and started heading towards their first lessons of the day. Thankfully, she was only in their Herbology lessons and not in any of their other classes. They got their morning classes out of the way and went to lunch smiling at each other lovingly, knowing she'd notice that. They repeated the feeding each other again added a very quick hug into the mix just to make it seem all that bit more realistic. If her reactions had been anything to go by, she was buying it, and really well. They could only hope they could pull it off in herbology that afternoon. 

 

Afternoon lessons came finally, and they noticed, that yes she was in their herbology class but also their Care of Magical Creatures class as well. Maybe it was because Care of Magical Creatures was very interesting and they payed attention properly was the reason they didn't know she was in that class with them. 

 

"Albus, I thought she was only in our Herbology class?" Scorpius whispered. 

 

"That's what I thought." Albus mumbles back, "Anyway. I have an idea for this class! If we're not dealing with anything deadly, I'll let myself get hurt somehow and you act like I'm dying or something. It'll be dramatic." 

 

"I'm not going to be dramatic." Scorpius frowns. 

 

"You did a fine job of it when you accidentally erased me from existence." Albus chuckles, giving Scorpius a friendly elbow in the ribs. 

 

"That's different!" Scorpius groans, "I thought you were gone forever and it made me feel like I was going to die!" 

 

"Don't worry, I'm just joking!" Albus says reassuringly, "Besides, I'd have acted the same if it had been you erased from existence." He adds quietly. 

 

Scorpius smiles, "Thanks." 

 

The smile at each other for a few more seconds before the loud voice of Hagrid rings out, "Oi, you two. You focussin' or not? Normally you pay 'lotta attention in my classes." 

 

"Sorry, sir!" Scorpius yells back, turning to his plant pot, where some strange small purple-red beast seemed to be growing instead of a plant. No wonder it was in Care of Magical Creatures rather than herbology because this was no plant. 

 

Albus noticed the girl still staring, more intensely than before. _Well, it's going to get worse before it get's better..._ Albus thinks,  _and I hope it gets better soon._   They still had one more class left after this, and that was herbology. As they're packing away their tools that they used that lesson, Scorpius glances over at Albus and watches the way his hair falls in his eyes as he leans forward to stack something on the shelf, the way he pushes his hair out of his eyes after he'd done what he needs to do, the way he grins afterwards in a satisfactory way- happy with his deed. There was something in how he'd be prideful over the smallest things and yet not let anyone know, as if he doesn't realize he does it. Scorpius sees, and he takes note. He remembers to look for it next time. 

 

"Hey, we'd better start heading off to herbology. You ready? We're going to hug when we're in there, make her think I hugged you for something you did." Albus says after he returns to Scorpius's side. 

 

"What? You're not making much sense, but I think I get what you mean?" Scorpius replies, "As in, I do something and you hug me for it? Right? I guess we can try that." 

 

"Yeah." Albus says. 

 

Together they head off to herbology. The lesson was incredibly slow this time, as they were doing theory rather than hands-on things, so it made finding something to hug Scorpius for increasingly difficult; More so than need be. An idea came to Scorpius, and he leans over to wrap an arm around Albus's neck, pulling him in to whisper something into his ear. 

 

"If we talk like this she'll think we're talking about couple stuff." He whispers, Albus nods in reply. Scorpius smirks as he notices the girl look in their direction, her friend staring at her disapprovingly.   _Ah, so her friends know of her feelings,_ Scorpius thinks,  _We have to fool them as well. Or maybe they're trying to get her to give up on Albus?_

 

Scorpius didn't get much more time to dwell on his thoughts as the lesson ended and they were allowed to head back to their dorms before dinner started. The two boys made their way down to their dorm rooms, chatting about their plan and how well they thought it worked. Scorpius was quite positive it was working, Albus thought so too. They decided that tomorrow, they'd take it up a step and hug a lot, and even for no reason. They both were quite certain that this was answer. Scorpius felt his heart beat faster at the thought of tomorrow, feeling happy and excited at the same time. They were both grinning in anticipation all through dinner and while they were attempting to get some sleep before the next day. 

 

"Are you excited?" Scorpius whispers that night as they lay in their respective beds, facing each other. 

 

"Yeah, I am." Albus grins. 

 

"We'd better get some sleep for tomorrow! Can't be tired all day, our spirits will dampen. Or should I say _Damn_ pen, because they're spirits? Get it?" Scorpius grins. 

 

"Yes, I get it." Albus sighs, "That was a terrible pun." 

 

"Thank you." Scorpius says, pulling the covers of his bed up under his chin. "Well, I'm off to sleep. Goodnight." 

 

"Goodnight." Albus says, rolling over in his bed to get comfortable. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading whatever this is.

**Author's Note:**

> It will be longer later, I swear. Also, best to bookmark this as I have no update schedule and if you're anything like me with reading fanfiction then I know that keeping this in a tab for the time you're keeping up with it is a dangerous game I'm not willing to play anymore. 
> 
> But thank you for reading!
> 
> Can you believe this is my first Harry Potter fanfic and it's NOT a Soulmate AU???? Shocking


End file.
